Saturday, October 29, 2011

October 12, 2011

I think it's a good idea to start at the beginning.  For purposes of this blog, the "beginning" was at 5:30 a.m. on October 12, 2011.

5:31 a.m. I placed a call to the Labor and Delivery Department at Baptist Hospital East.  My OB had scheduled me for an induction that morning and I was instructed to call and make sure we were still on.  The friendly voice on the other end said "Yep!  Go ahead and make your way down here!"

I was aware that once this induction began, I would not be eating or drinking anything sans ice chips for quite some time.  So on our way to the hospital, I suggested we stop off at Denny's on Dutchman's Lane for my 'last meal' of sorts.  Tom decided this was a pretty good idea and happily obliged.  Justifying it with my need for 'fuel', I quickly decided I could ease up on the gestational diabetes diet I had faithfully followed for months.  French toast grand slam baby.  Yum.

As I waddled into the bathroom the waitress asked Tom when I was due.  He said "Today.  We are on our way to the hospital right now."  The waitress laughed and said we were the first couple she has seen stop on our way to have the baby.  Most others stop for a Denny's fix after discharge.  But of course, I always have liked to be different.

We got to the hospital and checked in at the front desk.  Here we are posing for our final couple pic prior to Lana's birth:

 
My mom had gotten me a cute birthing gown that she found on the Internet.  However, it was sleeveless and a halter top, and I was too cold to put it on.  So, I begrudgingly changed into the ugly hospital gown.  Would it kill these people to jazz it up a bit?

The nurse came in and began collecting information.  She laughed when I told her about the French Toast Grand Slam.  Apparently, it is generally advised that one not eat after midnight prior to an induction.  Oh well.  One of two things could happen as a result of my early morning indulgence.  And neither will kill me.  So, get over it.   :)

For much of the morning it was just Tom and me in the room.  I did a bit of napping early on in an effort to conserve my strength.  The first few hours were pretty uneventful and calm.  It was actually really nice.

However, around 10 or 11 a.m. the contractions started getting stronger.  Mine were focused primarily in my lower back.  When they came  on it felt like someone had a screw driver and cranking it in my back.  I couldn't stay still and there was no way to get comfortable in between them.  The nurse asked if I wanted to go ahead and get the epidural...I said no, not yet.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no glutton for punishment.  I never even considered the possibility of giving birth without it.  I admire those women who do so, but it's just not for me.    I just wanted to wait until I felt I had made pretty good progress.  They say getting it too early can slow labor down.

We were waiting for my mom and sister to get to the hospital so Tom could go and grab some lunch with his dad.  We were waiting, and waiting, and waiting.  So, I told Tom to call them.  They were leaving...but wait for it...planning to stop off for a mani/pedi on the way down!!!!  I swear!  Only the women in my family would think to do such a thing!!!!  LOL  (Truth be told I was just super jealous that I couldn't join them).  But by this time, my contractions were getting pretty bad and I told them they better come on down.  After all, my last manicure had worn off, so it was only fair that everyone else's nails in the room remained a hot mess.

My mom and my sister got to the hospital and Tom ran to grab some lunch.  In that 45 minutes, my contractions got SO strong SO fast that he almost didn't make it back for the epidural  Let's just say that he better thank his lucky stars he did.  I would have never let him forget it had he not!!!


About the epidural...it is the most awesome invention ever in the world.  That being said, I'm glad it was so awesome because the process of getting the damn thing was the most painful thing I've ever been through in my entire life.  Unfortunately, I have extremely small spaces between my spine.  The anesthesiologist could not find the opening and actually had to attempt several times, starting completely over at one point.  Grand total it took about 20 minutes of trying.  He kept hitting bone which sent throbbing horrible pain down my entire body.  Add to this the fact that I was having pretty strong contractions by this time.  It sucked.  Seriously.  It sucked bad.  I screamed a couple of times and was just waiting for someone to ask me to be quiet so as not to scare the other ladies on the floor.  Thank God they didn't dare.  Because someone would have lost a good chunk of their hair I can promise you that.

For those of you considering an epidural, let me end the discussion with this.  It was awful but I'd do it again in a nano-second.  The horrible pains I felt for the 20 minutes of getting an epidural couldn't hold a candle to the thought of hours upon hours of even stronger contractions.  Not to mention the actual labor...I don't think so.  I experienced enough of the contractions to know that I really didn't care to experience any more.  LOL

Anywho, I felt much better after the epidural...



(And what about my sister showing up looking like she's about to walk the runway??  I should have banned her from wearing makeup.)

I had some visitors come by that afternoon and tried to rest in between.  Most of the late afternoon/early evening was again uneventful.  Just waiting around.  The epidural made this process SO MUCH BETTER than I imagine it would have been.  The only draw back was that poor little Lana's heart rate kept dropping.  So, I spent almost 6 hours with an oxygen mask over my face.  This made talking uncomfortable and didn't make for great pics either.

Once my water broke, there was meconium present in the waters.  Although very common, this can still lead to complications following her birth.  The decision was made to call the Neonatologist so that he would be in the room at her birth just in case.  Knowing this was comforting and terrifying all at the same time.  

The nurse checked my progress around 9:00 p.m and I was a 7 cm dilated.  Based on this, she estimated we would deliver sometime after midnight.  However, within the hour, I began to feel alot of pressure.  When she checked again, I was already at 9 cm dilated.  It was time to call the doc. This is when things got serious.

I can't explain it, but I suddenly became overwhelmed with fear and anxiety.  Knowing that I was about to have to 'push' this baby out frightened me.  I became convinced I would "mess it up."  I got very emotional and quiet.  It was like the totality of the situation hit me all at once.  Yes, child birth happens every day.  But it is a major medical event.  And I was most definitely getting stage fright.

Then the moment came, it was time to start pushing.

First of all, let me just say that I could really have done without the spotlights.  Aren't the big-momma stirrups bad enough?  Do you really have to hit me with Broadway-style lights?  Uggg.  Not at all a fan.

So, there I was, laid out for all the world to see (really, just the L&D team, my husband, mother, and sister, but it felt like an extremely large audience).  And it was go time.

I started pushing.  It was hard.  Like really hard.  Mostly, I found that I couldn't hold my breath for the full 10 seconds of pushing without getting super light headed.  After the second or third push, Laura exclaimed "I see her head!!!  I see her head!  Oh my God, she has so much hair!  It's beautiful"  This was a major turn around because prior to this time, Laura had sworn she wasn't going to look.  Now, she rattles on and on about how beautiful it all was.  I didn't get the mirror to see, but I'm fairly certain that it wasn't all that "beautiful" aesthetically.  But Aunt Lala is so smitten with her niece that she won't let that sway her now  :)

Problem was, Lana was not responding so well to the pushing.  The nurse got concerned because her heart rate starting dropping super low after each push.  I started to get panicked.  I wasn't doing it right.  Exactly what I was afraid of.

There was discussion.  There was concern.  The suggestion that a C-section might be necessary came up.  I pushed again, and it didn't get better.  The nurse was so concerned that she had me quit pushing.  Unfortunately, my body wasn't having it.  I felt like I had to push by that point. 

The Doc walked in and there was more discussion.  He thought Lana was likely wrapped in her cord.  The decision was made that we would try pushing once more, but only after he did a little repositioning of the baby.  Very awkward to say the least.  He was literally turning her while she was still inside of me.  Yuck.  Again, thank God for the epidural.  Moving on.

This was it.  If after this push Lana's heart rate dropped again, it was off to the operating room we would go.  I was so scared and worried about my little girl.   I didn't want to have a C-section, but I wanted to do what was best for her.  It was intense.  Tom just kept whispering that he loved me and that everything would be ok.  I chose to believe him rather than entertain any other possible outcome.

Thank the Lord...whatever the Doc did, it worked.  Lana responded much better to the next push.  And within 2 or three more she was out.  Out and screaming.  The most beautiful sound in the world to scared new mommy.

The rest is a blur.  I remember laughter and tears, lots of tears, from everyone.  Tom, mom, and Laura were all happy-crying and gathered around the baby.  I was straining to see her and feeling so overcome with emotion and love.  I hadn't even held her yet but already felt my entire world shift.  And finally they brought her to me.  The 7 pound 10 ounce miracle that I had dreamed of was there pressed against my chest.  She was healthy.  She was so beautiful.  She was perfect.

I was finally a mommy. 



Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A New Beginning...

I started blogging a couple years ago about my struggle with infertility.  At the time, I indeed felt "Fruitless."  However, this is no longer the case.

At 11:29 tonight our baby girl will be two weeks old.  Her birth was truly a new beginning for our family and me in particular.  She has already brought me more joy than I felt in the first 32 years of my life put together.  No, I no longer feel fruitless.  I feel extremely fruitfull.  And fortunate. 

So, from now on I will be blogging under this address so as to reflect the major change that has happened in my life.  Most importantly, I intend to be open and honest (sometimes disturbingly so) about the highs and lows I am sure to face as a new mommy.

As always, thanks to all my friends out there for your support.  Lately I am feeling like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.  :)